Who and what is influencing your decisions today?
Who and what are influencing the volume of your inner critic today?
I’m almost certain, if it wasn’t for a certain person or group of people, you wouldn’t be so much in your head.
And I do not mean it is their fault, I simply mean their presence is influencing this anxiety, overthinking, or heavy feeling.
Perhaps you’re obsessing over whether someone likes you.
Perhaps you’re worried about the big boss thinking poorly of you.
Perhaps you’re convinced the other mums must be judging you.
Perhaps you acted out of alignment to ‘fit in’ and now regret not just going with your gut.
Perhaps your friendship has changed and you’re feeling all the feelings.
Going over this in your mind is changing your mood and maybe even causing you to do things you don’t really want to. Hopefully you are having some moments of clarity – where you realise all is OK, you are safe, you are a good person, and you are simply trying your best out there.
It’s certainly a good start if you are.
Therapy insight: Anxiety often comes from making up “what if” stories in your head and then jumping to the worst conclusion.
✨ Example for anxious attachment:
You send a text and don’t get a reply for a few hours. Instead of thinking, they might just be busy, your brain jumps to, they’ve lost interest, they’re pulling away, I’ll end up alone.
✨ Example for the procrastinator:
You put off finishing a project. Instead of thinking, I just need to break it into small steps, your brain goes to, I’m lazy, I’ll miss my deadline, my whole career will fall apart.
Chewing over hypothetical concerns on a loop is not helping – it’s keeping you stuck.
Criticising yourself is useless – it makes us feel awful inside.
In this moment, it isn’t rocket science.
You need to pause, become the observer of how you are reacting, offer compassion to the hurt that is being triggered, get perspective, and embody the higher version of yourself.
Listen, it is OK to say to yourself: “Hey, next time I will do this better” – great, and now move on.
If you have a real-time, practical problem that needs your attention and action right now – great, take action, but recognise when the action is done and when it’s out of your control/time to let go.
You and I? We have a day to get on with, joy to feel, love to experience, goals to reach, and a secure attachment to enjoy with ourselves.
A Final Note
When you catch yourself spiralling in your head, remind yourself this: worry is a habit, not a truth. Psychologist Michel Dugas, who developed one of the most effective therapies for chronic worry, found that excessive “what if” thinking actually tricks your brain into believing you’re solving problems — when in reality, you’re just spinning in circles.
So next time your mind races with stories and worst-case scenarios, pause and tell yourself: “This is worry talking — not reality.”
You have the power to step back, breathe, and choose a calmer perspective. You don’t need to control every outcome or please every person. What you do need is to keep showing up for yourself, with compassion, courage, and the reminder that you are already doing your best.
MEET CARLY ANN
Book a free consult call HERE
Hello, I’m Carly Ann – a CBT & Integrative Therapist who helps individuals and teams break free from the rules and patterns that hold them back. I blend evidence-based CBT with compassion, radical acceptance, and transformative imagery techniques to guide you beyond anxiety, overthinking, and self-doubt.
My work is about more than coping, it’s about unlocking your potential, challenging the limits you’ve unconsciously set for yourself, and stepping into a life that feels freer, bolder, and more connected. I help people and teams recognise the invisible barriers that keep them stuck and replace them with practical, powerful strategies that accelerate progress.
Through my 1:1, workshops and sessions, you’ll discover how to move beyond rigid patterns, quiet your inner critic, and create a mindset that allows you to thrive. The focus is on real, lasting change, helping you and your team go from where you are now to where you want to be, faster, with confidence and purpose.