“Nothing can drag you down if you’re not holding on to it” – Tony Robbins
It is all consuming when you are left wondering if that connection was ever real in the first place. However long a relationship or encounter lasts, if it ends suddenly, you are left with a story unfinished.
This is the situation one of my incredible clients found herself in just last week, and wow, can I relate.
The polarity of emotions is overwhelming and feels like it hijacks every cell in your body. In a rare moment your logical mind gets a say, you know that it doesn’t add up…when it comes to this connection, you have put 2 & 2 together and come up with 47.
“there are specific moments you re-play; perhaps you recall the words that were said or the feeling you felt. Is it really possible you made it all up?“
The thing is, there are specific moments you re-play; perhaps you recall the words that were said or the feeling you felt. Is it really possible you made it all up?
The truth is, I do not know for sure. It’s impossible to know this person’s intentions or to grasp how much insight they have into their actions.
But I do know this, if this person held the emotional intelligence you require, it is unlikely you would be in this situation.
I’m not saying, they would be living happily ever after with you. However, they would have had the ability to understand the impact this might have on you, communicate with you, and share responsibility of what has gone on.
Given that you are reading this, I can only guess this person has silently turned their back, and you are here stuck on the shoulda woulda couldas.
Whether this person has a good heart or not, they go on in the world like you do not exist. You cannot force them to be any other way.
The heart aches not to be treated that way, by anyone, at any time.
People do not deserve to be treated that way. Not as a little girl, not as a teenager, not now and not as you step into becoming the woman you are.
“You are not crazy. The moment you felt was not just in your head, you know that because you were there too”
You are not crazy. The moment you felt was not just in your head, you know that because you were there too. However, the meaning you have attached to it, the headspace you have given, the tears you have cried, and the blame you have taken on; they are not in proportion to the moment you shared.
You may never know what they felt or even if they felt, and in moments of weakness, that is tough. Hence, you overthink in a bid to figure it out somehow, which doesn’t work.
You have been over the excuses; they don’t know how to open up, it’s not the right time, they need to grow, they are hurting, they’re not ready, they don’t know how, etc. If this person has an ego too big to allow them to be vulnerable and honest with you, how do you think a forever relationship with them would be?
The moment you shared (the one that you just cannot believe was a lie)… that moment was not it for you. See it for what it is, a moment in time where you felt something with someone who was just passing through.
I know what it feels like to wish you had not crossed paths with someone. But life is full of these moments, people will always come and go, it does not only happen TO you & it does not reflect you as a person. You will soothe yourself as you remember; life and love is not simple and perhaps this ‘connection’ is leading you to something far greater IF you allow it to.
Now is the time to hold your head up, take your life back and be the fire that you are.
You are so unbelievably worthy and you have so much value on this Earth. We each have a space carved out for us to create our own magic. You need to give yourself a chance to see how deserving you are, to give yourself the chance to create something so much bigger than this person or this pattern of relationship you fall into.
And no, you don’t have to be a loner in the process. The bonus is that you open yourself up to real love, like minded souls and brand new connections. You need to turn inwards and have a loving relationship yourself first.
I refer to it as Following Your Fire, because that’s what I see it as being. You love yourself enough to dive in and figure out what makes your soul feel so deeply happy. You keep trying, and trying until you feel it, and you become so brave in the pursuit of creating YOUR something bigger.
You will not let just anyone stroll into your life and destroy the magic you have created. They will try and the universe will test you – and it will sting, but never again like this time.
I dedicated my CORE coaching program (rather fittingly called Follow Your Fire) to helping you find yourself, fall madly & deeply in love with what you see, to walking away from what does not serve you and to FINALLY step up and into your LIGHT!
“Your life is too short and too precious to hand it over to anyone that has made a choice to leave“
Your life is too short and too precious to hand it over to anyone that has made a choice to leave, or to anyone that treats you like you can be picked up whenever they see fit to pick you up.
You are so much more than that and you have a life designed for you that certainly does not revolve around someone who does not see you.
Time is not your only answer here. Time is going to heal, but you do have the choice to speed up the process. Trust that everything is how it is supposed to be and you will give yourself the clarity to focus on the connection that really needs your attention right now: your connection with you.
What are you so passionate about, that it calls your name in the spare moments you are not thinking about this relationship?
You have gifts, you are unique and TRULY, the world deserves to see it (I don’t care how cliché it is!!). Nobody can help you as much as you can, and nobody wants to as much as you do! Whether the Fire is already lit or you are only just beginning, now is your time. Create something so much bigger than this connection. The only connection that will ever compare to the brand new life you love, is a real one.
Take a leap, take a chance on you. Do the thing you have been putting off, sign up to the course, reach out to that friend, write the song, create the podcast, do what sets your soul on FIRE.
I am sorry for the pain you feel or have felt. But what if the story was not left unfinished? What if this is what it took for you to take your big leap? That’s how it worked for me. If your inner fire is anything like mine, then this might be the best thing that ever happened to you.
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Carly Ann xx