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Mindset

Why it is Time to Follow Your Fire (& How to Get Out of Your Own Way)

Posted on 7th Dec 2019 by

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“Following your fire will lead to the happiness you have been searching for outside of you. When you begin that journey, there is no going back”

Why is it time to Follow my Fire?

If you’re anything like me, you have already spent too much of your precocious life focused on what doesn’t matter. Too much time spent comparing yourself to people who are busy comparing themselves, chasing people who do not see you, set your sights on THINGS that do not make you happy, buried your truth with alcohol and food. sadly, the truth is unless you wake up now, this will continue and you will waste most of your life this way.

I do not believe for a second that you will get to the end of your life and wish you worried more, judged yourself harder or cared more what other people think.

Following Your Fire means tuning into who you really are and beginning to live your life in accordance with that person and those values.

“Tell me more…”

You know that niggly voice inside of you, the one whispering your dreams and/or the change you need to make (the same niggly voice that is probably popping up as you read this).

I expect you have one of two responses when you notice the niggle; either you push that thought out of your head and pretend it doesn’t exist, or you are very aware of what it says and ignore it anyway. Whichever one you do, you feel a longing; a longing to simply go for it.

It’s really a mixture of a thought and feeling.

Sometimes it is the voice telling you there is more to life, you may even allow yourself to day dream from time to time as you momentarily imagine what it would be like to do something new with your life.

Sometimes it’s a feeling. There is the really obvious feeling you get when you are not allowing yourself to Follow Your Fire – you feel off. You feel anxious. You feel stressed.

When I asked this question to my insta family, a word that came up a lot was STUCK.

It’s HARD work living a life as someone you are not. It takes a lot of energy to constantly be pretending.

What are the other signs I am not Following My Fire?

What is stopping me from Following my Fire?

There are so many surface reasons. People will come to me with a whole range of reasons why they have not and feel like they cannot follow their fire – when it is all governed by one key reason – FEAR.

It all comes down to fear. A fear of not being in control. A fear of judgement. A fear that this will some how prove you are not good enough.

So you stay small, which in it’s own way is validating to you that you’re not enough.

The unknown is a scary thing, we much prefer things to be familiar.

During my online Coaching Program ‘Follow Your Fire’, I help women to understand how the fear manifests in their life – to identify the stories you tell yourself. That’s how you let go of what other people think, that’s how you let go of it all. It’s how you begin to accept life and accept yourself.

Have you even said what you want out loud? Have you even admitted your dream to yourself? or anyone else? A huge part of the Follow Your Fire program is helping you to say what you want out loud. You have to think it before you can create it.

You don’t even have to dream HUGE – that isn’t what Following Your Fire is about. Following Your Fire is about you living life on your terms. It is about you taking back control.

Fear will always be with us, it is part of our make-up; but once you begin to Follow Your Fire, you will see, fear does not have to control you.

“What if it doesn’t work out?”

Things not going to plan might sting. Pain is a part of this process, but there is no reason to suffer in that pain. When it doesn’t work it, you decide on your next steps.

I always had a desire to be a spin instructor. I applied, I didn’t get it. The fire in my belly went. It never felt like giving up a dream, it felt like I was satisfied I tried for something niggling away, and now I am focused on other things.

My coaching? I get Nos all the time. I find another way. The fire in my belly does not burn out. Coaching IS me Following My Fire.

Some things will work out, and some things won’t. That’s a simple fact about life, it doesn’t have to be such a big deal.

That is why Following your fire is not about the final destination, it’s about using your fire as your guiding light; to move you in the right direction, against your fear.

That’s all we can do. Who knows what the right degree is? Who knows if this relationship is the right one? Who knows if leaving this job is the right thing to do. You will never move forward if those are the answers you are looking for.

I can’t give you certainty because no-one can, but I can give you guidance and coach you to be the leader of your fear.

Following your fire puts you in the position to put your best foot forward, piece by piece. Tuning in to what is in front of you right now, using your bigger picture as a simple guide.

What I can tell you, is when you begin the journey of following your fire, there is no going back. It feels too good, that niggle has gone. You don’t have to worry about living in regret.

 

 

How has life changed since Following Your Fire?

The best bit about following your fire? The low mood, the sense of anxiety – it’s different. It comes in waves just like any emotion does. They are not all consuming, they pass. As you will learn, those feeling will come up for you and you will use them as your biggest warning signs.

You will use the fear as it is intended; to move your forward or to keep you safe from real danger.

Following your fire means you are in tune with your inner feelings, that’s really what you are doing – you are listening to new parts of you that you have otherwise buried – with food, alcohol, people pleasing, relationships, sex, avoidance – all of it.

I am not here saying my life is perfect and that I never make the same mistakes. I’m not saying that every dream I have ever had is coming true or will come true. What I am saying is that I know the direction I’m headed, I’m excited to get up in the morning, I pick myself up SO much quicker, I forgive myself, I live in reality as opposed to fantasy land and for the first time in my life – I have developed the ability to let go when I need to.

What you get from Follow Your Fire will differ for each of you. For me, following my fire has allowed me to create a life that I love. It has allowed me to notice the good things/people/situations in my life. Following my Fire means when I have faced rejection, instead of chasing that person and trying to convince them to see me, my focus is easily moved on to my next exciting project that lights me up.

I want the same for you. I want you to know you are worthy of the things that niggle away, that you are capable of doing the things you were told you can’t do. I want you to stand up and take risks and trust in yourself to handle what comes your way. I want you to do what you came here to do, what we all came here to do – Follow our Fire.

Life is too short and my favourite quote by Elizabeth Gilbert sums it up perfectly:

“And you have treasure hidden within you – extraordinary treasure – and so do I, and so does everyone around us. And bringing those treasures to light takes work and faith and focus and courage and hours of devotion, and the clock is ticking, and the world is spinning, and we simply do not have time anymore to think so small” – Eliazabth Gilbert, Big Magic

What if I do not know my fire?!

The things about passion and purpose, is it can be overbearing. It can feel like a huge pressure, and when you see other people who do know their fire, it can be scary.

You think if you can just find the one right thing you need to do, then you will be in control. There is no one thing you can do that will give you the kind of control and certainty you are after. Sometimes finding your purpose is just moving towards the things you enjoy.

If you tell me you do not know one single thing you enjoy, then I challenge you with these ideas:

  1. You are too afraid to say what you enjoy
  2. You are too afraid to say what you want

Why? Why are you too afraid to try that sport? Why are you too afraid to end the relationship or tell that person how you feel? Why are you too afraid to pick a course? Why are you too afraid to say what you want?

Because it means something has to change?

Answering these questions is tough, because it means facing your fears – that is where I come in. That is exactly why, I offer 1:1 coaching with my FYF program. Because this is what we need to dive into, and no one said it is easy.

What can I do today to Finally begin following My Fire

First things first, admit to yourself that you are willing to take the big leap. That you are willing to commit and prioritise your need for this change.

Tune in to what is around you. Notice your response to things and people in your life. Follow the things that light you up. Say yes to opportunities and walk away from the things no longer serving you.

Explore different activities and experiment with how you spend your time. Quit procrastinating and take action.

Move out your comfort zone and embrace the feeling of uncertainty that comes with this movement.

Join me for 12 weeks of elite coaching on my program Follow Your Fire. Move from stuck & unsure to Clarity & Freedom. Step into the best version of yourself; only you can control how you choose to live your life, no one can make the decision or take action for you.

Want results? Want happiness? Want confidence? Follow Your Fire.

Carly Ann xx


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