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Mindset

The Journey from Insecure to Secure – Which Phase are you in?

Posted on 18th Nov 2020 by

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“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ―Dale Carnegie

I get asked a lot about how to actually change. You have your ‘aha’ moments and you are even awake to the fact you are in a cycle of low self-worth, yet you still keep repeating the same patterns and going back to the same old painful behaviours.

Whether that be allowing someone into your life who has so far shown you zero respect or saying yes when you desire to say no!

So below I have outlined the four phases that take you from INSECURE to SECURE!

(so that you can feel totally IRREPLACEABLE).

I want to know which phase you are in right now?!

Phase 1: Insecure & Occasionally aware Aware

This is the phase when you are “IN IT”. You are deep in it; getting triggered, settling for low part relationships, chasing guys who do not see you, feeling totally wound up and crappy about yourself.

Anxiety & overwhelm is knocking on your door each day, and you are letting them in. Howeverrrrr… there are moments where you KNOW this is not ok. You KNOW deep down, that something is going on and that love & life is not supposed to be this hard or this way.

Maybe the thought comes to you on a walk, or in the shower, or when you are laughing uncontrollably with your best friend – you have a sudden realisation, there is MORE for you than this.

Phase 2: Waking Up (After The Wake-Up Call)

This is when most women will find me. Phase 2 usually comes with a whole lotta pain. Something happens where you come crashing down to Earth with a huge bump. It hurts, but it wakes you up. This is when you start thinking “enough is enough” “I can’t keep doing this”.

Maybe it is the 100th time you have found yourself back here and you just feel like your heart can’t take another hit.

This is your “rock bottom” if you will. This is a break-up, being cheated on, pushing someone away, losing your job, getting ill – whatever it looks like for you, you are awake.

At this stage, you may be reading all the self-help books & attending the workshops. Having your aha moments – yet you are still in the midst of pain.

Some will stay here, and some will move into Phase 3.

Phase 3: Lessons Learned & Experimentation

Oooh this is an exciting phase. This is when women take the leap and work with me!! Phase 3 is when you surround yourself with like-minded people, you have the coach, you are doing the courses, & making the investments. THIS IS TRANSFORMATION. You are doing more than learning; you are now an action-taker.

You are experimenting with change, and doing what scares you. At this point, your conscious mind is overriding the unconscious mind that tells you to go back to how things were.

You are being presented with tests & lessons that are making you stronger, even after you fall down, you get back up, ready for the next hurdle – you’ve found the inner strength that has been inside you all along.

This is when you are walking away from what does not serve you, trusting yourself to try something new, experimenting with dating, and lovingly spending time alone. You are figuring out exactly who you are, what lights you up, and moving forward into the unknown. Into phase 4.

Phase 4: Embodiment & Integration

Now you are strong, you have a crystal clear sense of self. You walk the walk, and you talk the talk. You are WIDE AWAKE.

You have overwhelming pride in the life you have created. You think, feel, and act like a woman who knows she is irreplaceable.

You harbor no anger. You give out high energetic vibes, full of love & compassion, and just like a magnet, that is exactly what comes back to you.

You are living the life you had dreamed of, and it comes naturally because the re-wiring has taken place – you think in a new way. You have come back home to yourself.

You see what I see; you are IRREPLACEABLE!

Which phase are you in? Let me know below! Or tell me over on instagram!


I’m Carly Ann, I’m a Self-Esteem & Relationship Coach on a mission to help women go from insecure & anxious in love to becoming totally aware of how IRREPLACEABLE she is.

I am here to put an end to you feeling “too much”, “crazy”, and “needy” by giving you the inside scoop on why love can make you feel that way & provide you with what it really takes to build your self-worth.

Using my background in Psychology & my own personal experience I help women quit repeating the same toxic patterns in love so that you they can feel complete by themselves, excited about their love life, and feel hopeful that their dream relationship is just around the corner!

Follow me below!


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