Take Control of Your Life & Dreams by Admitting this to Yourself

Posted on 18th Dec 2019 by

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“You have to say it to create it” – Mel Robbins

Do you know your dreams?

A vast majority of people I coach will begin our interactions telling me they do not know what they want to pursuit in their lives.

Yet they do. Most likely,  so do you.

99% of those individuals do have an inkling of what lights them up and what they want to pursuit. Yet still, when I ask them to tell me the dream, I am met with “I don’t know” – but I see the sparkle in your eye.


If you think you are that 1% where there is nothing niggling away (and you are unhappy with this); either you have pushed your dream so far down you can’t even think it or you are ‘looking’ for your passion in the wrong place.

Now listen, I’m not about to force you to tell me your dream right this second; all in good time.

WHY people  don’t want to say their dream out loud (initially)

First, let’s think about WHY. Why do so many women begin our journey telling me they don’t know what they want?

Why is it you won’t tell me what you really desire?

It falls into one of these reasons:

  1. You haven’t even admitted it to yourself yet
  2. You fear you will be judged
  3. Both of the above

Often when people come to working with me, they are in a time of their lives where they are SO ready for change. Usually they have just been through a significant life event that has catapulted them into a change they had not expected or even wanted in some cases.

Though it might be difficult to see at first; one of the greatest advantages of these situations is that they force you out of your comfort zone. When you find yourself in that space you have two choices; go back to comfortable, or keep growing outside of your comfort zone.

I know which choice I made. And I know the choice my clients make.

So – you want to keep growing?

Then it is time. It’s time to create something bigger than what you have been focusing on in your life so far. What’s bigger?

Your real dreams.

That’s exactly why you need to admit what you really want.

If you want to transform to the next stage of your life, it is time to give yourself the love, attention and respect you deserve.

It’s easy to look for your spark outside of you. It’s easy to look to a relationship, a date, a house, a job, a holiday, a spa day. It’s easy to wait for these things and hope they will give you the spark you are looking for.

Certainly, you can aim for those things. But none of things are going to substitute for the other things you need right now.

The thing I am asking you to admit to yourself, is the thing niggling away.

Because that thing niggling away – that’s your guiding light. that’s you compass in this life.

It makes sense that we bury it or hide it – when you are full of fear. We’ve been conditioned to stay small and chase the wrong things.

You’re conditioned to be afraid of being laughed out the room. You are telling yourself you’re not good enough to do it or that you won’t be able to cope. So you’ve spent your life ignoring it?

It’s up to you – no one is going to stop you chasing all the other things that everyone else is chasing. Those things can keep you busy too so you don’t have to think too much about what you truly want.

Allow yourself to think it

Just for a second – take a step back right back now, slow your racing mind and bring yourself to this very moment. Take yourself out of your head and remind yourself not to be so wrapped up in your world and see the bigger picture.

Now, admit to yourself; what is the niggly dream that never leaves you alone?

What is the idea you have that you wish you had aimed for ages ago?

What is the change you wish you had the strength to make?

Say it out loud.

Mel Robbins says: You’ve got to state it to create it.

The thing is, I’m not asking you to do anything right now. I’m not saying to put the wheels in motion, we’re not at that stage just yet. For now, I’m just asking you to tune in to your inner fire and listen.

If you allow it, that fire in your belly will guide you to live a life true to yourself.

It wants to take you somewhere. Somewhere meaningful and fulfilling.

Slow Down

You will overwhelm yourself right now if you begin overthink how you are possibly going to make it happen, and start to spiral as you worry about running out of time, or not having the money or the skills.

We don’t just leap to that last step. That’s exactly the point of Following Your Fire. You are just going to follow it, bit by bit; step by step, and see where it leads you.

I can’t tell you that the fear of change is going to leave you, that’s not how it works. But I can coach you to face that fear. Instead of letting that fear keep you in this same place for the next 5 years, I coach individuals to own the idea of wanting more and being OK when you are out of control and at risk of things not going to plan.

The truth is, yes it will be scary as you step out of your comfort zone, but it won’t be as big and as scary as you think, because we are not going to go THAT BIG straight away. Honestly, you can slow down.

If you are serious about creating a more meaningful life for yourself, get curious and begin to play with the ideas you have.

What Next

When you are ready, trying telling someone else what’s been interesting you. Don’t put any expectations on their response, their approval is not needed, it’s just a step towards facing your fear.

Here there 3 people I found as a result of Following My Fire:

  1. Judgy people
  2. People who don’t care
  3. My Cheerleaders

If you are not ready to tell someone. Take action anyway. Learn about a topic, meet other people who do have the same interests.

I had started a secret Happiness Instagram but it wasn’t the real stuff for me.

First, I admitted to myself I wanted a blog. Then, I said it out loud to the right people – and it turned out, my best friend’s boyfriend (now husband!) wanted to build a website. It starts with saying your dreams out loud – you never know what opportunities are going to come from that small, courageous step.

Stop hiding your dreams. They are yours for a reason – you have been picked. We were all born to have dreams and to be our own person. We are not supposed to be the same as each other, we are not supposed to be perfect and we are not supposed to fit into certain boxes.

Follow YOUR Fire!

For more details on how to Follow Your Fire and be coached by me at the same time, head HERE!

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Get in touch and tell me your dream!

Carly Ann xx

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