How to Be Happy: Learning to Love Yourself As You Are

Posted on 24th Oct 2018 by

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“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”

-Robert Morely


Are you prone to self-loathing? Chasing shiny things? Dreaming of more money? Longing for Mr/Mrs Right to sweep you off your feet? Hoping and believing these things are all you need to finally feel satisfied?


In the last yen years of coaching people and learning about what truly makes us happy. I have come to one very clear conclusion. Loving and liking yourself is key.


At the very core of true happiness is Self-Love. The ability to accept yourself, value yourself, know you are enough and treat yourself with kindness.


I have given myself a tough job. In a world full of people lacking in self-belief, not feeling good enough and believing it selfish to do anything nice for yourself – I’ve decided to spend my time trying to encourage you to start consciously loving yourself.


I am so passionate about helping you live a happy, fulfilled life. I love helping you identify and set goals, so that ultimately, you can live the life you dream of – but I can’t do that without incorporating the tools you need to boost your Self-Esteem.


Helping you to love yourself whatever size you are right now, whatever job you have right now, whatever your relationship status, whatever anyone else thinks of you, however many mistakes you have made.


It is so much easier to suggest to people to lose weight, buy a car, find a partner. To do that would be doing you a disservice (and it would not be true to myself). Only when you have a loving relationship with yourself, can you appreciate those things.


You can have those things, by all means. But it will be liberating when they are just extra in your life and you don’t rely on them for happiness.


It has been tempting to abort the self-love mission, to give the people what they want and just help everyone achieve the external things alone. But life is just so much more than those things. Unfortunately, that is not the message that is sold to us every day in our consumer driven society (that I also fall into).


I believe with every ounce of my body that loving yourself as you are and understanding you are enough, whatever you have been through and whoever you are, is the start to overcoming challenges. It’s not easy, and it is not something you will just achieve, it’s a way of life and a journey.


Imagine a life where more often than not, you are comfortable in your own skin, show up in your relationships, appreciate the money and things you have and are willing to try new things even if they might not work out how you hope.


You might agree with what I’m saying. It isn’t rocket science and actually there is more and more research backing this up. But it’s not quite working is it? You’re still not willing to accept you are enough, not sure self-love is enough to make the difference. You still have your eye on the external stuff…


That’s OK. Like I said, I fall into that trap all the time. I forget my self-worth on the daily. I fall into the trap of listening to my inner critic regularly. That’s life. I’m also able to recognise when I’m stuck in a rut, I know when I’m giving myself a hard time, I know when I am seeking validation from an outside source and I know when I need a big fat dose of self-love. And I don’t mind saying it!!


My life is so much easier when I know my worth and I know I am enough. On the days where it lacks, there is an obvious dip in my mood and it can be a struggle to keep my head above water. Thankfully, these days I have the resources and strength to pull myself out of it.



Part of the self-love mission is to make the idea acceptable, non cheesy and unselfish.


Think about it, it’s OK if I say how much I love my friend, sister, brother, partner or colleague, isn’t it? We don’t mind saying that.


It’s OK if I tell my 7-year-old niece to love herself. In fact it’s a goal you have for your loved ones. You wish they loved themselves the way you love them.


Why is it then, that if I told you I love myself, absolutely unconditionally, you would probably say I’m arrogant and slightly odd? Or if I asked you to say it out loud for yourself, you would cringe and not believe a word you have said.


As a culture, we have an issue with the concept of self-love. There is a massive misconception that it is selfish, conceited and a bit ‘woo woo’.


Not loving yourself means you talk to yourself like s**t, you compare yourself negatively to everyone, you put up with crappy treatment from others, you spend your life people pleasing and you are certain you need something outside of you to make you happy.



You are too stressed to be happy, you are too busy to be calm, you are too hard on yourself to have good Self-Esteem and you definitely care too much what everyone else thinks of how you live your life.


This way of living will not make you feel happy, no matter how rich you are, attractive you are or how big your house is. Something will still be missing.


You can keep chasing those things if you like. I can’t stop you. But inject some self-love on the side if that’s the only way. With enough Self-Love, over time you will realise it makes the difference.


Whilst I’m all about promoting Self-Love, the deeper meaning of this is to spread happiness. So it doesn’t matter if you don’t want to shout from the rooftop about loving yourself or where a t-shirt to proclaim your Self-Love. You don’t even have to say the words Self-Love out loud. Call it what you want. The main thing is you practice Self-Love.


I believe with my whole heart, you can turn your life around, meet your goals and feel your best if you begin to adopt the tools for loving yourselves. That’s why I have written my free e-book on the three keys to self-love that changed my life. You can download your copy HERE.


Join the Journey. You deserve to be happy.


Click HERE to join my Facebook Group for support, inspiration and tools on how to love yourself and live a Happier life.


Click HERE to follow me on Instagram and see what I am getting up to and help me spread the happiness message.


Carly Ann xx

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