“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” – Wayne Dyer
One of the breakthroughs I had about improving my own level of self-worth is that I was able to start using so many of the techniques there and then. Even now, when I repeat or find new techniques; I don’t need to go anywhere, buy anything and I certainly don’t need to wait! Seriously, most of them are things we can put into action immediately. The only thing that stops you, is you.
I’m not saying you get the results you want instantly, however, if you are able to offer love and compassion for your efforts – then actually, you can absolutely feel better in moments.
I know that many of the women (and men) that follow me, struggle when it comes to giving yourself the value and respect you so easily give to other people.
I also know, many of you have had enough of the feelings and impact that comes from neglecting your own needs time and time again. Most of you are ready to do something about it & are willing to learn how to love yourself.
All too well, I understand how tough it can be to make the change, especially in the early days.
I have to tell you though, there are so many benefits that come when you begin to realise you are worthy.
It is my mission to help women build up their self-worth so that they can finally begin to have the breakthroughs they have been daydreaming about. That is exactly why I have created the Follow Your Fire Academy – so you have a place to learn life changing skills and most importantly, you get to learn how to live your precious life being YOU.
It used to be me. I used to day dream about breaking away from low-level relationships and men who didn’t see me, I would feel envy towards life coaches (I SO wanted to be one!) and I would have that niggly feeling that I’m not being myself – whatever that meant at the time.
I realise now that those dreams and niggly feelings were my inner fire – that inner compass that we all have. Which by the way, we all have the ability to ignite and follow.
Below I am outlining 3 simple ways you can improve your self-worth today. They are not rocket science and they do not require anything more than your effort, time, patience & vulnerability. Ask yourself, are you willing to give that in exchange for your self-worth and happiness?
If you answered yes, let’s get going:
It’s true that we are our own biggest critic. Given that life is full of bumps, trips and mistakes, it means we are a pretty easy target.
Giving yourself a hard time means you are constantly hearing negative words about yourself, it is hardly surprising that you wind up feeling anxious and hold yourself back from trying. Who wants to be told off for every move they make?
If you determine your worth based on super high expectations, chances are you are going to struggle when it comes to valuing yourself.
Of course I am not suggesting you stop trying, trying is good. I am just encouraging you to relax and go with the flow a bit more. And hey, if you truly feel the problem is that you are genuinely not trying your best (it’s not just the voice of your inner critic), then there is nothing wrong with upping your game a little.
Make your life a bit easier, your anxiety a little less and your experiences more enjoyable by changing the way you talk to yourself. Your words and your thoughts influence your mood and create your reality.
My Follow Your Fire ladies, you will be doing this in the mirror, wooo!!
As Louise Hay says – “You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
2. Intentionally recognise three positives about yourself a day. Choose a time each day to set aside and reflect o three qualities, strengths and positives about YOU.
This exercise comes with plenty of benefits. Not only are you sending a message to yourself that you are worth time, you are also getting from head to paper (powerful stuff!!), on top of that you are collecting the evidence that only makes step 1 easier.
This exercise helps you to reframe your self-image. The more you read your new lists, the more you are building evidence and a brand new healthy thinking habit for yourself – meaning there is less room for your inner critic.
You may be like many of my clients are initially and believe there is no way you can do this.
You absolutely are able to think of these things, it is more a question of whether you will write them down despite the inner bully shouting (loudly): “urghh that’s not true”, “that was a one off”, “who do you think you are”, “No one else thinks that about you”.
The first step in this exercise is to write these things down anyway. Even though you don’t believe them and you feel cringe doing this. Let your inner critic take it’s best shot and write it down anyway!
The more you practice this, the easier it will become, and eventually, with enough practice, you will actually begin to think nice things about yourself in the moment. I’m speaking from experience.
As you begin to notice your qualities and strengths, your confidence subtly grows and you will slowly release the power you currently give to your inner bully and other people’s opinions.
3. TRY something you think you can’t do
Do something you have told yourself you can’t. Bake, read a whole book, start a blog, paint, do zumba, practice meditation, knit, practice a specific yoga move, apply for a job – just simply TRY.
I am aware in some ways you may feel this will undo some of your good work above. Because to be fair, you might ‘fail’ or mess up. But that actually part of the point here – being able to deal with that discomfort and learn that you can cope is SO important for your self-worth.
Unless you intend to live under a rock, it is impossible to go through life without experiencing any failure, rejection or pain, and you can’t be good at everything. That simply isn’t how it works; no one is so special they are immune to this – no matter how successful or perfect you believe other people are.
On top of realising you are totally fine when you can’t be good at everything, you will sometimes realise – you can totally do that thing. It’s like the time I told myself I can’t write, and yet here I am writing my own blog, one which I get messages and compliments on almost daily. I’m not a brilliant write and I make-up most grammar – but hey, I do it anyway because it is part of the dream – MY dream.
There are going to be things you think you can’t do that you are born to do.
When it comes to doing something you think you can’t:
Trying is winning.
Coping with failures is a brilliant skill.
Being better than you ever thought is a bonus.
People will tell you these things don’t work. It’s not true, they work. This is how you improve your self-worth, there is no secret cure. Your self-worth relies on you not giving up, being consistent as much as you can and…Trying.
I can teach you the skills, you are the one that does the work. It is you noticing the small shifts. It is you digging deep when your inner critic and old habits creep in and try to break you down. It is you getting back up after a fall.
I was the girl who did not believe change is possible, convinced I might be the exception to this work. And yet here I am, I’ve had breakthroughs. And now I am able to spend my time Following my Fire, every day. Knowing in my heart that my worthiness is equal to anyone else. It’s the BEST feeling.
For more tips, tools and inspiration on boosting your self-worth every day, follow my socials (I love them and post probably too much haha!!):
I’m not kidding when I say I LOVE hearing from you and engaging with you, so feel free to reach out. We are in this together!
Carly Ann xx